I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
