Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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