I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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