yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize