Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
