Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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