are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
