u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
