Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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