So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
