she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize