Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
