I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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