I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
