Ambien. No doubt about it.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
