it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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