id be glad to
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
