called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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