I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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