Are we in a gay sports bar?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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