very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
