She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
