There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
