We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
