my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
