stop calling my apartment porn island.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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