He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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