omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize