just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
