Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
