I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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