i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.