I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.