Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1692) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

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  (602): I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one. (623): Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully. http://tfl.nu/x05a
  Replies (36) Good night (4535) Bad night (509)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.

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  (610): the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing. http://tfl.nu/gyso
  Replies (21) Good night (6055) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.

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  (423): two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars. http://tfl.nu/vo0x
  Replies (35) Good night (799) Bad night (6465) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.

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  (614): Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls. (1-614): Which beats the fuck out of good intentions. http://tfl.nu/vjhv
  Replies (30) Good night (5832) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21073) Bad night (1262) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?

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  (480): ... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen? http://tfl.nu/sppe
  Replies (17) Good night (3363) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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  (720): Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it. http://tfl.nu/chvq
  Replies (7) Good night (6022) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We talked him into tasing himself.

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  (903): We talked him into tasing himself. http://tfl.nu/jtjc
  Replies (12) Good night (2950) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.

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  (902): He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them. http://tfl.nu/vfjc
  Replies (16) Good night (3363) Bad night (660)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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  (631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1272) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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  (484): I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance http://tfl.nu/sui0
  Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.

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  (219): Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding. http://tfl.nu/1cjf
  Replies (13) Good night (1475) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.

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  (404): Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs. http://tfl.nu/h5fh
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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  (337): IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE. http://tfl.nu/suxx
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt

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