It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
