didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
