what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
