the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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