I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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