I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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