dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she looked like the before picture.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
