She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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