Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
