I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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