What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
