My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
