On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
