there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
