I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The beer is more important than you right now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
