Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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