Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
