Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
