i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You made out with two different species that night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
