Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
