i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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