if you like me you must not know who I am
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
