My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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